Missed oppurtunities

The internet, the vast emptiness that is so full of knowledge, yet cannot be grasped, cannot be felt, only seen...yet it's still so empty. It's there, right in front of us, a medium...not transparent, but it's weight can't be measured, it's shape can't be described, it's just there. It's this great vast space, that doesn't take any up, it connects us together, but at the same time, it doesn't really connect us at all. For me, this blog...it's a place for me to put my thoughts. Maybe it's the only place that I can be honest with myself, or with others, for it's the one place that isn't really seen by anyone who I might have thoughts about. Maybe my friends do read it, but I'm sure they don't. Just like I don't read theres, or maybe I do.

So now, I want to write about missed oppurtunities...chances at happiness that just slip through my fingers...and others that I grab at, but just like the internet, it's not to be felt...only to be seen...and for the most part just passing me by. Maybe I should have said this, maybe I should have thought that, maybe I should have done it in another way...maybe, maybe, maybe...forever haunting me...or at least for now...

Everyone has their different takes, I suppose...my missed oppurtunities have left me here, successful and alone...I suppose they could have left me unsuccessful and alone, or not alone, just unsuccessful...though I would think they are intertwined...does one exist without the other for me...so does that make me unsuccessful and alone...that's a good reason to down the entire bottle of whatever's nearest...not really, but it seems like it is...so that's me, huh, unsuccessful and alone...

Have you ever thought, who'd care if you weren't there anymore. Sure it's right out of a movie, I know...but I've had the thought on my own, much longer than i've been allowed to watch movies...anyway, my first thought seems to go to work...what would happen tomorrow if I didn't show up...as much as I care, sadly nothing would happen. The half ripped up chaulk outline on my cube floor would become a sick joke...maybe my cube would stay the way it is forever...well they'd take my name down...take my computer out, but would it at least say unoccupied...probably not. Beyond that...I'd like to think that I'm important to some people...and surely I am...but life'll stop for no one...I guess I wouldn't want that...it'd be a momentary pause for those that I know...but just that...one moment, of millions in a lifetime...just a pause, a breath...and then moving on...

Just called a friend to talk...not sure about what...but as soon as that person answered the phone, I went within myself...how dare I keep that person up at night...there might have been a time...but now it's gone...so far so I couldn't even start to talk...mature, old Mitesh...no no, nothing important, just go to sleep...it's what I should do too...

So missed oppurtunities...taking the chance on something...while letting others pass you by...maybe its the story of everyone's life...for me though...it's not those other lives that matter right now....

Sitting in Room in Jersey

Hi everyone,

So my "travels" have brought me to beautiful New Jersey, land of stuff...or whatever...anyway, sitting at my Uncle's out, just celebrated the 1st year of my cousin's kids (twins...Riya and Diya)...it was nice...

I would have to say that when there is no fighting going on, which for the most part there isn't in the Jersey family...yeah, it's like the mafia for us...we have the Chicago family, and the jersey family...there's a lotta laughter, there's laugh out load, keel over, tears coming out, stomach hurting laughter...it's of course at the expense of someeone, though the someone changes during the evening, which is nice...there was a great joke..."But they charge you 1/2 price for your haircut, don't they??"...to the bald guy, who tends to dish it out...I dish out my fair share, but for the most part it can only be to the younger ones, cuz that's the way it is...

Interesting, I tend to talk a lot less here, especially at family gatherings, because I'm not so good with gujarati...I could speak in english, and everyone would understand, but they tend to speak in gujarati. Also odd here, is that I'm still considered a guest, even though I've been at all most everyone of the family gatherings over the past 3.5 years that I've been in Baltimore. So basically, when they all get together, I'm here. I always stay with my Uncle, because everyone else is cousins.

The Super Bowl is on tonight...my Bear's lost their only playoff game, stinks. Will rout for Big Ben...though this is going against my gut of routing for the underdog, when I don't have a particular interest...for some reason I think of Pittsburgh as the underdog, though that 7 point spread suggests otherwise. Nightmare for the better, right...how are you supposed to lay 7 points if you think oyur team should be the underdog...crazy...oh well.

By the way, I think one of my earlier posts about happiness has been misunderstood, or at least, looking back, i think it could have been. My suggestions on things to cut out are soley based on my own thoughts. I think that making a list of what makes you happy is a great idea, but it's what makes YOU happy...not me or anyone else. My thought is that this should drive your use of resources...not my list, or my thoughts, but your thoughts. So if you wanna go out and splurg, by all means go do that, because if it brings you happiness, then hey, you should do it. Now, i'm not suggesting that you should forgo your obligations soley for your happiness, hopefully the obligations you have are a part of your happiness...okay, point made...